011 Terror

In the recent years, it seems terrorists have come to the forefront of our attention. Though many governments have stepped forward in the "War Against Terror", I fear this "war" can never be won. It is an endless and senseless fight in which no side wishes to give way.

From the "civilised" world comprising of most of the countries of the United Nations, they are not going to stop their hunt for Osama or any other head terrorist. They have vowed not to give up or cower before the terrorist's bombings and execution. All this sounds right but have we just been brainwashed by the media?

What is the cost of all these? We have caught a few of the main Al-Qaeda members but not the head. We have lost many good men on our side and on their side (though not many will see their side as good men). Even if we do kill or catch Osama, what's to stop another person from stepping up and picking up where he left off. Osama is a figurine, nothing more. Even if he dies, his people are still fighting for an ideal. However corrupt that ideal may seem to us, as long as they still believe in it, this war would never end.

It seems illogical to sympathise with these terrorists but actually, it is true. They need our sympathy as well. Imagine yourself living as one of them. Whether they took part in terrorist activities in the first place, their country and race has already been potrayed as one of baddies. Just take a look at our media reports around us. Do we actually see what is going on in their country? Do we feel the hardship they go through living in a war torn country? Do we see the racism this people put up with when they move to other countries? No, we don't. We can try to imagine but we can never really feel it. Not with our comfortable peaceful lives. Social divide through income and ethnic groups are widening every second. There's little anyone is doing to stop it.

What can we do about all these? Honestly, not much. These thoughts of inferior and superior race has been around for ages. implanted into young minds even before they learn algebra. It is difficult if not impossible to do a reverse engineering of a mind programmed so young. People are simply too absorbed in themselves and their "superior" race to see the good points in other people. They only see the bad points and put others down. What's the point of all these?

I believe that I am lucky as my ancestry as a Peranakan puts me in a unique position closer to chinese and yet not too alienated from malay culture. Hopefully, I can learn Malay later on to further go down that path. I don't mean to forsake my chinese heritage. It's just that I wish that maybe more can step forward to close the gap, build a bridge if you will across the ethnic groups. We are not so different after all. If you cut a malay, chinese or indian, we all bleed and the blood is red. None of us has green or blue blood. What's the difference? Why the disparity?

Royston Tan
There is only one race,
The Human Race. When can we achieve that?

010 Who am I?

At some point of life, most intelligent people are bound to ask themselves, who am I? What is my purpose in life? It seemed this question came to me when I am at the crossroads.

All my life, I have been convinced that I liked science and that researching and teaching is what I really want to do. Is it really the case? Now, the question hits me. Did I do well in science because I like it or did I get interested in science only because I did well? The only person that can answer that is myself but even I do not trust my own perception. After 10 years of brainwashing that science is superior, can I really trust my perception? I guess the answer can never be found. However, in our current society, it is true that science is superior only because you can more likely rely on it to bring home the bacon. It looks like I'll just follow the path that I'm on. Hopefully I'll reach a lucrative job, earn enough and retire to pursue my "real" interests.

Royston Tan
Where does the real me lie?

009 Encounter with the Art Side

Recently, I've working at Studio Haroobee quite a lot. Though I just help out doing the odd job here and there, being surrounded by artistic people in an artistic environment has probaby had a profound effect on me.

I remember my early encounters with art quite vividly. I always had a wild imagination on what I would like to draw but somehow these ideas were usually too difficult for me to draw. I would try and try but in the end I gave up. I could never seem to draw out what I wanted to draw in the first place. I could copy a drawing but that is only copying. I don't want to copy another person's drawing, I want to create my own art. Alas it was not to be, I gave up on art and left my left brain to die

It was only in my secondary school years that my left brain awoken from it's dormant state. It was not in the form of art but rather in the form of words, specifically in the essays that people dread most. I found my release in writing. When my sec 4 english teacher gave us an assignment to write an essay on any topic we wanted and gave us a word limit of at least 4000 I was shocked at first. How do I come up with a 4000 word essay? However, I took a while to think and before I know it, I had started on my first fantasy story, "The Five Elemental Dragons". Words just flowed and flowed out of me, 1000 words came, 2000 words came and suddenly I had a 20 page essay! I was shocked but I also realised that I was happy. This was something that I created, not copied from anyone else. That marked the awakening of my left brain but it has been atrophied after such a long time of disuse. It is a good start nonetheless.

Recently, working in the art studio, I learnt to appreciate how the children see the world. I am quite glad such a studio exists with the kind and patient teachers that focus on teaching them teachniques to beautify their paintings rather than "the right thing". From my point of view, there can never be a right or wrong in art, it is all subjective. Actually to create a painting, a sculpture or a story is a personal achievement. Even if no one else appreciates it, it doesn't de-value your art. It is more than that. It is a therapy for self esteem and an outlet for de-stressing. Hopefully the young children that come through the studio would appreciate it in the future.

Royston Tan
Education does not kill creativity but limitations do.
Free your self and see a whole new world beyond the clouds.