It's been a while since I visited this place. Was it because things were going well in my life? I wish I could have said so. However this was not the case. Many times I wanted to run here to blog, to write out my thoughts and random ramblings but in the end I did not. Why? Simply because I lack the time to do so. Some may point out I had the entire holiday to do so but between the things happening in my life, I simply did not have the time nor energy to do so.
What exactly happened? Well... for those who did not know, to put it simply, my paternal grandmother passed away. To say she was my paternal grandmother is not entirely correct either. She was my grandfather's first wife but my father was the son of the second wife. Technically, she is not really my grandma but did it make it hurt any less? I wish it did.
Though I never stayed with her and I never did meet her all that often, I would never forget her care and concern for me. I may not be her real grandson and she may not be my real grandma but that care, concern and love was real. Perhaps this time I did feel it was a matter of too little too late. I should have visited her more often. I should have told her how much I cared for her and how much I appreciated her. Now, I would never have the chance to do so again. Yes, I did visit her nearly everyday when she was in the hospital. I remember holding her hand as she went to sleep at night so she would not feel so lonely. I remember buying food she craved in her final days. I remember praying by her bed for her to get well. It may be late I know, but I hope amidst all the unhappiness that was around, at least these acts of love made her final days a little happier. What unhappiness? Well... let's just say I live in a complicated family. One that can be made into a channel 8 serial drama series or perhaps even a few. Hahaha......
All these made me realize, family members often disagree or even quarrel but at the end of the day, we are all still family. Look deep inside, there is still that care and concern for one another. Why not learn to emphasize on that love for one another?
Royston Tan
Leave out all the rest
